Alex, Trans Ally said "its like the Shallow Hal thing. I dont see people on the outside, I see them on the inside. I cant see why people cant do that"

Last week at my school, Towson University, the LGBT Development Center hosted the Transgender Awareness Week.

Some of the events were:

Katelynn Cusanelli

Transmasculine Panel

Drag Make-Up Workshop

Trans 101

Vigil to Transgender Victims

Two of the events that I went to were Katelynn Cusanelli and the transmasculine panel.

And I want to focus on this panel for today, because somethings that were said there just moved me and I cried like a baby. There were four individuals representing there and one was half Asian and I could relate to that because I'm Asian. There was a male who had top surgery. There was a hate-crime survivor. And there was an ally to the trans community.

What I found that was really beautiful about them is there, they were different and the same all at once. They knew what hardship is like. And what I found that was beautiful was that they never gave up. They were there to talk to us, to move us and to educate us and I was sooo blessed to be there because they showed courage and a will of fire to never give up. They showed true survivors and true activists.

Many might think that why is this important to this blog... isn't this blog suppose to be about being comfortable in your own skin? Well this is what that is about, these individuals are learning to be comfortable in their own skin and that going from female to male is not easy but they are doing it. They are becoming who they are and who they were meant to be and that is beautiful.

Also, what I found moving, if you dont care about the rest, I'd love it if you read this. The ally, her name is Alex, she is a lesbian who's been helping with the Trans community for awhile. And what I fell in love with was...

Alex said that its like the Shallow Hal thing. I dont see people on the outside, I see them on the inside. I cant see why people cant do that.

I wasssssssss moved because I thought, wow... that is beautiful. She said that she's always been the bigger girl and that when she saw that movie, she cried. I mean, when you are not in that position, you dont know what its like. But I believe that we are can relate to this. For myself, I'll admit it, I'll judge people on what they look like on the outside. But for her to come out and say that, it just taught me so much and I feel like thats amazing.

She saw her friends going through all of this, she could have turned her backs an them but she didnt. She loves them for who they are not what they look like and that is the beautiful thing I've ever heard. I was sooooo blown away.

And we can relate to that because she was so real and such a human. We're not perfect and she sees the beautiful inside which is something that we are looking for everyday. I wish that I could be like her. She changed me from that night truly.

And if any of you four from the transmasculine panel are reading this, I just want to say thank you. You have changed my life in sooo many ways that I'd never imagined. Because of you four, I feel like I am more beautiful. And that I will start to look at people on the inside more.

Thank you all for changing my life. It was an honor truly.

And to those that are reading this, people who are following my blog and my group on facebook, you guys really are my inspiration to keep doing this. You have noo idea what it means for me to talk about these things. I feels amazing when I get a message like

"just wanted to say that your group couldnt have come at a better time. it was really nice to see something positive and self inpowering when your down."

"i want every one to love themselves too. thank you for making this group. it makes me want to continue what i have been working on here. i appreciate your existence."

"I know that I really don't know you but I'm a proud member of your group and am going to invite everyone I know. YOU are the hero!! :)"

Thank you all!!!

Here's a video... a word of encouragement from Jelissa Jaconi. It doesnt just apply to trans people, but to everyone. Live your life.

Monique said, "F-A-T dont stand for ugly. It stands for Fabulous-And- Thick!"

I'm sorry for not updating. I've been doing this project... you know... the life of a college student.

I was watching a TV show and it's on E. It was called 15 body bounce back or something like that. They showed many stories like how Matt Demon had to gain about 20-30 pounds for a role and then lose it all back and gain big muscles. Experts in this area is saying that it actually is not healthy. Your body doesnt like to change that much in such a short amount of time. THATS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW. There have been statistics saying that the people who do this to themselves have a shorter lifespan.

What I love about what Monique said is that she's always been fat. And it is ok... she's been a queen size all her life. When she did her show, it has the word 'fat' in the title. The producers said, "Oh my god. That could be offensive to people." And what she said was beautiful, "what's offensive about fat?" Because FAT stands for Fabulous And Thick. And you know what... she is right.

But something happened.

Her husband asked her if she knows what she looks like and she said that she does. But he says that he loves her and that he loves her but he wants to love her for a longtime.

What he worried about was I love you no matter what size she is but he wants her to be healthy.

To be told that, sometimes it really hurts people. But what Monique said was that she's going to be healthier but she's still gonna be big.

She said... what she's trying to do is tell everyone that its okay te BE FABULOUS AND THICK, IN the 200s on the scale and wearing SIZE 14 BUT able to walk up a flight of stair and not die and not struggle.

THATS WHATS UP. YOU GO GIRLL!!!!!!!!!

And I dont know how to stress it enough. I feel like hell yeah... it is ok to be fat because you still fabulous. But ask yourself... are you healthy? I'm sure Monique didnt do it for her husband. I'm sure she did it for herself and those that she's inspiring and saying that you can be fat and healthy.

And right now... yos I am using the word fat... but it's ok if you're healthy because I am here to stop those who hurt themselves. If you are ding the Fat Talk (OMG I'm SO FAT) STOP IT NOW. If you are eating unhealthy... STOP. You might be saying that you're feeling great on the inside. But you're hurting yourself if you're blogging your arteries. I understand if you feel differently but I am here to tell you to be healthy inside and outside.

Just remember... FAT is for FABULOUS AND THICK!!!

HERE' MONIQUE... GIVING YOU HER MESSAGE!!!

There is always hope.

As many of you might have already know... I am a huge fan of PostSecret. And I am posting this because it turns out to be one of my favorite PostSecret ever.

When I looked at this, it is something that have always believed in, "there is always hope."

Being a queer male in our society, whenever I think of what "coming out" is, I think of that dark tunnel, with that light at the end. (It's a process of accepting yourself and able to let others know about yourself.)

When I look at this postcard and this doesnt just apply to myself but to others who are gay or a drug-user that is trying to be drug-free or simply those who want to give up.

Dont... Dont ever give up. Dont ever.

There is always hope. Every time we do the right thing and not giving up, we move towards that light and it gets bigger.

In my situation, that's what I think of the Gay Civil Rights Movement or any movement. We are standing in the dark tunnel and at the very end, we see this tiny light at the end, everyday, we move towards that light and it gets bigger. But I am not sure if we will ever be outside of this tunnel but we are moving towards it, and gaining along the way. Thats the beauty of all of this.

To those that are scared or wanting to give up, you dont have to, you never have to. Just keep pushing.

This post secret really just hit it for me... EVERYONE... THERE IS HOPE. THERE REALLY IS. I PROMISE. Keep pushing for it.

And dont forget one thing... you might not be the hoper but you can be the Hope. Help those who need it, because you can be their hope to making everything better.