Monday, January 4, 2010

"We all have a disability of some kind; all are lacking in one way or another. Saul has an injury to his leg. What if his personality was deformed? How much worse if his soul was lame? Preachers or teachers look for the good in all of us. (Bless them for doing so.) I don't see a cripple. I haven't met anyone yet who isn't handicapped in some way. So what's the big deal? Don't hide your deformity. Wear it like a Purple Heart." -Source: The Nursing Home Fugitive

This post... I want to talk to you guys about this show I've been watching and downloading. It's quite amazing. It's this little show called Glee.

HAHA I'm sure that you probably heard of it. And yes, I am kinda consider myself a Gleek. I just started watching it about 2 days ago and finished it already.

I'm not here to talk about the show. It's about the content of the show. Yes, this show is about musical and performing and acting. But what I find that I truly love about this show is how everyone is so different and can still be together. And not only that, there are issues that we face everyday whether it's teen pregnancy, disability, homosexuality or even being yourself.

It is so crazy. I thought it was just another show. And i was sooo surprised.

The issue I want to discuss today is disability. And I'm sorry if I'm using this term and it has negative connotation. just tell me what would be a better word to use. cos the word "disabled" sounds really ridiculous.

I am soo touched by this character, his name is Artie. He is paraplegic, which means his lower half and legs dont work. Yes I am touched by all the other issues on the show, but I wanted to talk about this one was because its something i've never talked about.

This Glee club is going to competition, but they had to raise money to get a bus that is accessible for wheelchair user. But people in the club said for Artie to just get his dad to drive him. He said that he didnt take it personally but he did. It's a personally thing.  For that episode, they had everyone else raise money and go to school in wheelchairs.

I thought it was amazing, because it shows how difficult it is to be wheelchair bound. I am not a wheelchair user and I dont understand where his character is coming from. But it find it beautiful that he can do things just like others. And it didnt matter because he was able to sing and do what he wants.

Other issue is that, the entrance that is accessible to Artie, is at the far end, and I find it kind of unfair. You dont really think about it until you see it. It's really rough.

In the end, they did raise the money, but Artie said he'll have his dad drive him, because he'd rather the money go to building ramps for other wheelchair users. I found that to be BEAUTIFUL. He is not selfish, he thinks of others. It's just beautiful at how can someone who's struggled just to be considered "equal" can think of everyone else when WE as "normal" or whatever we are, cannot think of others. I found it to be touching, enlightening and most of all INSPIRING.

He shows that he can do whatever he wants to do and be whoever he wants to be. Just because he is paraplegic doesnt mean that he is less. he is an inspiration and I want people to really watch this show.

It just has sooo many issues that we need to be talking about. and I truly tryuly love this show. It touched me in soo many ways.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Gives Me Hope

That's one of the Gives Me Hope

I am so sorry that I havent updated in a REALLLY LONG time. But i've been really busy with school and I think I might get a 4.0 so pray for me haha.

Anyways... my friend Zach showed me this website that I totally want you to check out because I was soo touched that i just cried like a baby... its called Gives Me Hope @

Some of the Gives Me Hope:

1.Last week our whole PE class had to run the mile. The biggest girl in our class said that she had never ran a mile, and that she just couldn't do it. All of the girls in my class ran with her, singing songs, telling her how great of a job she was doing, and clapping for her. She finished her first mile at 14:27. Her tears of joy GMH.

2.Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of four years in a nice restaurant. When she said yes, the entire restaurant stood up and applauded.

We're both women.

Understanding of true love GMH.

3.I'm a deaf high school student. Last week was School Spirit Week, and one activity last week was to dress up as an inspirational person you knew or knew about. I went to school without dressing up like anyone, and when I got to school I found that 20 or 30 kids had dressed up like ME! I cried because they understood what I go through. They GMH.

4.Today, my teacher was telling us a story about her friend's adopted son and how he got picked on for it. One day at school a boy went up to him and said, "I came from my mommy's tummy, where did you come from?" knowing the boy was adopted. His response? "I came from my mommy's heart." He was 6 years old at the time. This GMH

5.A month ago at my school, a transgender student was beaten to the ground for standing up to three other students who said that our campus hates gays. The next day, nearly half the entire campus rallied to show support of the LGBT community in the quad. The student that was beaten was crying. GMH.

6.Today I found out my little sister stays inside during recess every day to help a blind kid at her school learn how to play the clarinet. She was supposed to have a solo during her concert, but she let him play it instead. Her selflessness at 12 years old GMH

7. My friend was always depressed. One day, she attempted suicide and a guy she never really talked to at school visited her at the hospital. He said, "Don't you dare do that again! You are the MOST beautiful girl that I have seen. EVER." That was 6 years ago. They're getting married this weekend. GMH

8. From PostSecret: I'm a school photographer and will never forget the picture I took of a little girl with luekemia. This 10-year-old, came up to my camera sat down and whipped her wig off. I stood there in shock for a second. To this she responded "I want to be remembered as me. Not as the girl with the wig." Her bravery GMH.

9.Last week, a very hateful group announced that would be protesting outside my college's center for Jewish life. They planned to carry hateful signs and to jeer at Jewish students. When they arrived, they were met by 1,000 students and professors standing in the rain, and left quickly because they could not be heard over the songs of love. It GMH

10.I was wearing a short sleeved shirt for the first time in years. I was nervous that when my boyfriend saw my scars he wouldn't want to be with me anymore, instead he kissed my scars, and told me that if I ever felt bad enough to hurt myself again, that he would take the pain instead. He GMH

11. There's a really beautiful freshman in our school who a mentally challenged sophomore boy has a huge crush on. She got asked by at least 10 people to the winter formal dance, but she decided to go with the mentally challenged boy. Beautiful girls who are also beautiful inside GMH.

These are some of them that I wanted to show you. I am sooo in love with this website. Its given me hope.

I always talk about how we need to love ourselves. But this website showed another thing and that's loving people and sharing your love. Its about supporting people who had struggles whether its gonna be helping a classmate in running a mile, giving up a place so that a blind person has a chance, or standing up for transgender student. Thats so beautiful that you can do that.

I created this group to help people and tell people that they are beautiful but I also want people to go on and spread their words and tell others that they are beautiful too and do what I'm trying to do.


and please spread the words about my blog

also be a member on my facebook group and ill tell you when i update my blog

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Alex, Trans Ally said "its like the Shallow Hal thing. I dont see people on the outside, I see them on the inside. I cant see why people cant do that"

Last week at my school, Towson University, the LGBT Development Center hosted the Transgender Awareness Week.

Some of the events were:

Katelynn Cusanelli

Transmasculine Panel

Drag Make-Up Workshop

Trans 101

Vigil to Transgender Victims

Two of the events that I went to were Katelynn Cusanelli and the transmasculine panel.

And I want to focus on this panel for today, because somethings that were said there just moved me and I cried like a baby. There were four individuals representing there and one was half Asian and I could relate to that because I'm Asian. There was a male who had top surgery. There was a hate-crime survivor. And there was an ally to the trans community.

What I found that was really beautiful about them is there, they were different and the same all at once. They knew what hardship is like. And what I found that was beautiful was that they never gave up. They were there to talk to us, to move us and to educate us and I was sooo blessed to be there because they showed courage and a will of fire to never give up. They showed true survivors and true activists.

Many might think that why is this important to this blog... isn't this blog suppose to be about being comfortable in your own skin? Well this is what that is about, these individuals are learning to be comfortable in their own skin and that going from female to male is not easy but they are doing it. They are becoming who they are and who they were meant to be and that is beautiful.

Also, what I found moving, if you dont care about the rest, I'd love it if you read this. The ally, her name is Alex, she is a lesbian who's been helping with the Trans community for awhile. And what I fell in love with was...

Alex said that its like the Shallow Hal thing. I dont see people on the outside, I see them on the inside. I cant see why people cant do that.

I wasssssssss moved because I thought, wow... that is beautiful. She said that she's always been the bigger girl and that when she saw that movie, she cried. I mean, when you are not in that position, you dont know what its like. But I believe that we are can relate to this. For myself, I'll admit it, I'll judge people on what they look like on the outside. But for her to come out and say that, it just taught me so much and I feel like thats amazing.

She saw her friends going through all of this, she could have turned her backs an them but she didnt. She loves them for who they are not what they look like and that is the beautiful thing I've ever heard. I was sooooo blown away.

And we can relate to that because she was so real and such a human. We're not perfect and she sees the beautiful inside which is something that we are looking for everyday. I wish that I could be like her. She changed me from that night truly.

And if any of you four from the transmasculine panel are reading this, I just want to say thank you. You have changed my life in sooo many ways that I'd never imagined. Because of you four, I feel like I am more beautiful. And that I will start to look at people on the inside more.

Thank you all for changing my life. It was an honor truly.

And to those that are reading this, people who are following my blog and my group on facebook, you guys really are my inspiration to keep doing this. You have noo idea what it means for me to talk about these things. I feels amazing when I get a message like

"just wanted to say that your group couldnt have come at a better time. it was really nice to see something positive and self inpowering when your down."

"i want every one to love themselves too. thank you for making this group. it makes me want to continue what i have been working on here. i appreciate your existence."

"I know that I really don't know you but I'm a proud member of your group and am going to invite everyone I know. YOU are the hero!! :)"

Thank you all!!!

Here's a video... a word of encouragement from Jelissa Jaconi. It doesnt just apply to trans people, but to everyone. Live your life.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Monique said, "F-A-T dont stand for ugly. It stands for Fabulous-And- Thick!"

I'm sorry for not updating. I've been doing this project... you know... the life of a college student.

I was watching a TV show and it's on E. It was called 15 body bounce back or something like that. They showed many stories like how Matt Demon had to gain about 20-30 pounds for a role and then lose it all back and gain big muscles. Experts in this area is saying that it actually is not healthy. Your body doesnt like to change that much in such a short amount of time. THATS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW. There have been statistics saying that the people who do this to themselves have a shorter lifespan.

What I love about what Monique said is that she's always been fat. And it is ok... she's been a queen size all her life. When she did her show, it has the word 'fat' in the title. The producers said, "Oh my god. That could be offensive to people." And what she said was beautiful, "what's offensive about fat?" Because FAT stands for Fabulous And Thick. And you know what... she is right.

But something happened.

Her husband asked her if she knows what she looks like and she said that she does. But he says that he loves her and that he loves her but he wants to love her for a longtime.

What he worried about was I love you no matter what size she is but he wants her to be healthy.

To be told that, sometimes it really hurts people. But what Monique said was that she's going to be healthier but she's still gonna be big.

She said... what she's trying to do is tell everyone that its okay te BE FABULOUS AND THICK, IN the 200s on the scale and wearing SIZE 14 BUT able to walk up a flight of stair and not die and not struggle.


And I dont know how to stress it enough. I feel like hell yeah... it is ok to be fat because you still fabulous. But ask yourself... are you healthy? I'm sure Monique didnt do it for her husband. I'm sure she did it for herself and those that she's inspiring and saying that you can be fat and healthy.

And right now... yos I am using the word fat... but it's ok if you're healthy because I am here to stop those who hurt themselves. If you are ding the Fat Talk (OMG I'm SO FAT) STOP IT NOW. If you are eating unhealthy... STOP. You might be saying that you're feeling great on the inside. But you're hurting yourself if you're blogging your arteries. I understand if you feel differently but I am here to tell you to be healthy inside and outside.

Just remember... FAT is for FABULOUS AND THICK!!!


Sunday, November 1, 2009

There is always hope.

As many of you might have already know... I am a huge fan of PostSecret. And I am posting this because it turns out to be one of my favorite PostSecret ever.

When I looked at this, it is something that have always believed in, "there is always hope."

Being a queer male in our society, whenever I think of what "coming out" is, I think of that dark tunnel, with that light at the end. (It's a process of accepting yourself and able to let others know about yourself.)

When I look at this postcard and this doesnt just apply to myself but to others who are gay or a drug-user that is trying to be drug-free or simply those who want to give up.

Dont... Dont ever give up. Dont ever.

There is always hope. Every time we do the right thing and not giving up, we move towards that light and it gets bigger.

In my situation, that's what I think of the Gay Civil Rights Movement or any movement. We are standing in the dark tunnel and at the very end, we see this tiny light at the end, everyday, we move towards that light and it gets bigger. But I am not sure if we will ever be outside of this tunnel but we are moving towards it, and gaining along the way. Thats the beauty of all of this.

To those that are scared or wanting to give up, you dont have to, you never have to. Just keep pushing.

This post secret really just hit it for me... EVERYONE... THERE IS HOPE. THERE REALLY IS. I PROMISE. Keep pushing for it.

And dont forget one thing... you might not be the hoper but you can be the Hope. Help those who need it, because you can be their hope to making everything better.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Buddha said "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection."

Today I am sick at home and have been sick for a while, so i am sorry for not posting in a bit.

When I started this blog, I want to show people that beauty is more than just being what everyone thinks it is. I wanted to redefine that word that it comes in so many forms. But I didnt talk about what that word really means.

When I type the word "beauty" into the search bar of my homepage, the first thing that came up was beauty products... How did our society come to this? It has come down to physical objects and that's what we put ourselves as. We are just physical objects.

But when I looked at the second link that come up and it was wikipedia. I clicked an it and it had the definition of the word and what I loved about it was how it talks about the admirable characteristics like "attraction and emotional well-being." And to me, it did not once mention anything physical. I'm thinking that a source that most people look at did not mention about being physically perfect. That is just plain awesome.

To go in depth of that, it stated about the characteristics... yes I know that it could mean physical appearance too but it leaves room for everything else. We are all human beings, we are not perfect.

And I will come clean right now, I am trying to inspire so many out there that we need to love ourselves and be healthy. But sometimes, I think of what it would be like to be "one of the hotties." All I am telling you right here is that... I know that we're weak to the media or our inner devils sometimes but we're here together. Anytime that WE are thinking that we're not good enough... always think that there are others who think of the same things. But together, we can admit it but also know that hey... we neeed to go forward. And that we're not alone. When we think half-empty there are others who will help bring us back to thinking half-full.

Buddha said "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection."

We are all humans... its ok to be weak... because without knowing you have weakness, you wouldn't know about your strengths. So be weak at times, but ALWAYS come back STRONG.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Be strong physically, emotionally and also mentally and dont let Ralph Lauren slim you down

Filippa Hamilton is a fashion model from France who's done very well as a fashion model.

At the age of 15, she was discovered on the street of France.

At the age of 16, she landed herself her major first campaign for Ralph Lauren.

Everything is great until, a photo that was not approve by the US came out, and it has Hamilton's head smaller than her waist.

After much debate and a lot of tabloids, the company that put this supermodel on the map, came out with a statement which told everyone how they had made a mistake and how they did over retouch her picture to make it more "beautiful". And that it was done too much to the point that it looks extremely unnatural.

They also stated that they have dealt with this, well when they said that, they met firing Filippa Hamilton. A model who was completely innocent about these picture and how she didnt have anything to do with this situation because models dont retouch those pictures and she herself was that even that skinny.

Hamilton stated that when she saw her face on another girl body... it was just shocking. And that yes, they did fire her over 6 months ago but still continue to use her image.

And Worst of all... she was fired because she was actually too fat or too big to fit into their clothes.

In U.S.A., her size is a 6, for a girl who is 5' 10, thats really on the skinny side. But in the modeling world, and I'm saying this based on the fact and NO... I do not agree with this, models have to be size 2.

Problem much?? Back in the 1990's, Liv Tyler had said that sample sizes for clothes were size 6-8 and now they are down to size 0-2. In the 10 to 15 to 20 years that have passed, really... can you imagine it changing that much and still trying to represent beauty?

How are we as humans suppose to take all of this and try to be like it when we know that it's wrong?

We need to embrace our body not hide it. And what else that is messed up about ads like these are that they know they are selling to real people with real bodies, not just 5' 10 and size 2 but people who are 5'3 and size 6. Or height of 5'5 and size 12.

They tell us that if we wear this, then we're going to be "beautiful" like those girls, but what they need to do, is have models that reflect how a healthy and normal or what a body should be.

If it says that a certain % of body fat for this high and low cardio level... healthy should look like a certain type and have models that look like that. Whether they are curvy or skinny, we need to just tell people to be healthy and whatever that size or how you look might be, thats the key thing.

Cindy Crawford said:

"The thing I like about my body is that it's strong. I can move furniture around my apartment. I can ride my horse... I can play basketball. It's a well functioning machine. "

What's beautiful about it is the fact that she didnt say whether she is average, skinny, toned or anything. She said that she's strong.

That's the message we need to promote. Be strong physically, emotionally and also mentally.